"It will be like a tamborine but......GREEN!"
"Any child found on the street after 10:00 will be shot, or retured to their parents, as the situation may warrant." ~Chief Wiggum
"Haitian Penal Code:
Article 249. It shall also be qualified as attempted murder the employment which may be made against any person of substances which, without causing actual death, produce a lethargic coma more or less prolonged. If, after the person had been buried, the act shall be considered murder no matter what result follows." ~ The Hatian law against making people zombies
"HA! You didn't count on my loyal army of prostitutes!!" ~Norm MacDonald
"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave." ("Pepsi comes alive," as originally translated into Chinese.)~complements of Julia
"Put that I am always right, and that everyone should always listen to me and do what I say." ~Julia (who has a bit of an ego), after I asked "What should I put on my website?"
"Good luck with your job, don't go crazy and start sabotaging the mochas." ~Dan
"One minute I was a happy space pirate, looting and pillaging, and then poof! I'm a dumb as a doornail." ~Brak
"Life is like bad fish, eat it and die screaming on the toilet." ~A very wise man
"Do the ass-penny monolouge damnit!!!"~Quinn
"Dead in a gutter" ~my resonse to the question "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"See me." ~what the teacher wrote on my paper after I wrote, "Fuck this class and fuck everyone in it."
"Maybe we should call him by his real name." ~Quinn after he and Kyle were going around bragging about how Kyle beat up some kid they had nicknamed "Baby"
"...Also with all this genetic nonesense that's been going on television it's good to read something about what these people really think they're going to do with it all. It seems obvious to me that Tony Blair can stand there and tell me about health, and that his kid is not getting cancer, but basically they're just going to make an army of terminators and try and invade China with them- probably."
"So, is this a conspiracy theory you're developing or is it really happening?"
"No, it's not a conspiracy theory, but I wouldn't be surprised."~excerpt from an interveiw with Crispian Mills (a.k.a. God)
"Scream like hell, and die." ~the MST3K battle plan
"Oh, it's one of those 'go crazy and then die' diseases." ~Me
"...and in conclusion, I can not find my own ass with both hands and a flashlight." ~Tom Servo
"A redder shade of neck on a whiter shade of trash..." ~Pavement
"If I had to be any of the Pokemon I would be Jigglypuff, the cutest of the pokemon." ~Me
"You'll just have to wait fifteen minutes before you go spread your evil seed." ~Space Ghost
"Well I thought about the army dad said, 'Son you're fucking high.'" ~Ben Folds Five